Oh F! It's you
by tamagoyakihime
Summary: In a world where the first words you hear from any adult can lump you with them forever, Sasuke fears for the rest of his life every time someone says 'those' words to him. There was only a couple of people he felt safe with but it would seem he has forgotten one of the most important lessons of living in Konoha: Naruto Uzumaki is unpredictable. (sasunarusasu, fluff and language)


**Okay, so this one shot is pretty much inspired by fairiestails' 'Sentences'. I thought I would just quickly type this up, completely ignore the fic that I have seemingly abandoned in another fandom (and the half typed ones I have on my laptop). This story hasn't been betad in any stretch of imagination so just bear with, and if you can't, correct away! J Just be nice about it please!**

 **This story is based post war in a world where Sasuke doesn't bugger off to do whatever Sasukes do on epic redemption journeys. ^^**

 **Now go! Read my rushed fic of random fluff, slight crack and, most importantly, sasunarusasu! :D**

 **(And please tell me what you think! *.*)**

 **EDIT (15/9/2015): Now including formatting! .**

* * *

Sasuke turned off the shower and stepped out before grabbing a towel. Walking through to his room, he glanced down at the neatly wrapped gift laying on his bed and sighed. He wasn't normally the type to get his friends birthday presents but he was not willing to let any of team seven, Sai and Captain Yamato included, use late or missed gifts against him ever again. He shuddered as he remembered his 17th birthday the year before.

* * *

 _The raven haired teen stood back, bewildered, as Team 7 including its interlopers carted piles of carefully wrapped items into his house and into his living room._

 _"What is all this?" He found himself asking a seemingly grinning Kakashi._

 _"Seeing as today is your birthday, Sasuke, we decided it would be a good idea to catch up on all the gifts we missed out on exchanging!"_

 _"Hn. So this is…"_

 _"Yes! It is all the gifts you would have been given since the time you left us!"_

 _It had taken him hours of unwrapping and eye twitching to get through the piles of items. At the end, the other five people just sat there and looked at him expectantly._

 _"What?"_

 _"We're doing a gift exchange for all the years we have missed of each other." Kakashi supplied helpfully._

 _Sasuke narrowed his eyes… they wouldn't-_

 _"Yeah, bastard! Where's our stuff-dattebyo?"_

 _-They would…._

 _"There is nothing." He stated coldly and chased them all out of his house._

 _Then on his own, he cleared up all of the things he had received. Every once in a while he would snort at a ridiculous painted book Sai had painted him that noted the progress of Naruto's 'dicklessness', angrily but carefully stuff the orange books that he has received from Kakashi into a box in his wardrobe, take a moment to look at the photos that had been included in Sakura's cards and set them aside, try to work out what he was going to do with all the wooden carvings he Yamato had given him or marvel at the how the quality of gifts Naruto had given had increased over time._

 _With the exception of Sai and Yamato, it was painfully obvious that after he had left, Kakashi, Sakura and Naruto had all bought him gifts each year and kept them for if he ever came back. He could almost imagine Kakashi sniggering as he bought another copy of the latest Icha Icha for his unsuspecting missing student or Sakura as she evolved from only enclosing the most attractive photos of her to perhaps less flattering photos showing her accomplishments. Or even Naruto, as he travelled the world with Jiraiya, choosing whatever caught his eye from some foreign market and taking care not to lose all he bought whilst on his journey._

 _They hadn't even told him that they had been planning on giving him all this beforehand. They had just dumped it all on him…._

 _Sasuke felt a small weight in his stomach as he remembered their disappointed faces. He groaned as he stowed away the last of Naruto's gifts and went to dig out the photo albums from the attic; they were never going to shut up about it!_

 _It was only because he wanted some peace and quiet that he turned up the next day with some old sets of high quality kunai for each of his team mates- not because of the sinking feeling in his stomach._

 _However, when he saw the look Sakura, Naruto and Kakashi exchanged upon receiving their kunai that he realised something very important;_

 _He, the last remaining Uchiha, had been well and truly played – by a fangirl, an idiot, a pervert and two interlopers, each seemingly with the emotional range of a rock._

 _As they watched him realise what had just happened, the rest of team 7's eyes gleamed and they all released a rather sinister looking smile._

 _Their extortion of Sasuke's newly found weakness lasted for nearly a year. They only stopped when the majority of the villagers (who had once despised the boy) felt sorry for him and pleaded for his team mates to stop._

 _Afterwards, Sasuke was generally accepted in the village and he couldn't help but wonder if his suffering had all been part of an intricate plan behind his back to raise his standing in the village - it wouldn't be the first time it had happened to him..._

* * *

Before Sasuke pulled a shirt on, he inspected the faint writing on his right inner arm, just below his elbow, which had appeared on his 18th birthday and was the current bane of his life: his soul mate mark.

 _Sasuke-kun! Did you miss me?_

He felt his face form a scowl again. These were the first words his supposed soul mate was supposed to say to him during their first meeting as adults. Some people were able to figure out who their 'fated' one was upon reading their soul mate mark but, his could be anyone – hell it could even be Orochimaru!

Due to an 'unintentional' slip from Kakashi, most of the people in the village knew what Sasuke's mark said and it had become almost tradition for girls, once they turned 18 to seek him out and say the words on his arm to him in the hopes that they are the one he is destined for. Even some of the guys in the village had taken to greeting him in that was, including, annoyingly enough, Naruto.

No one had had any luck yet as the mark was still a faint grey and not the solid black it would turn once the right person had said the words to him.

Turning his mind to Naruto, he would be gaining his mark at some point in the day. No doubt, he would drag everyone around in an epic hunt for his soul mate….

The raven finished getting ready and headed over to his friend's place to find Sakura standing out on her own. She looked concerned as she explained that she had arrived with Sai and that no one had answered the door. Sai had went out looking for the knucklehead.

A few hours later, Sasuke fumed after breaking into Naruto's apartment. Sakura and Kakashi were looking around for the blonde idiot but he was nowhere to be found. It wasn't until Sai came back some hours later from asking around that they found that Naruto had been assigned an urgent mission the night before and wasn't expected back 'till later.

They all made arrangements to meet up the following day to kill their team mate for not telling them about the change in plans and headed home.

It was dark by the time Sasuke made it back to his house. His front door showed signs of having being tampered with and he activated his sharingan and cautiously entered his home. Though not deactivating his sharingan, he relaxed when he saw Naruto stood over a kitchen bench, slurping up ramen.

Naruto's ears twitched as he heard Sasuke walk towards him from behind and turned around to greet him, "Sasuke-kun! Did you miss me? 'Which reminds me-"

As his best friend jokingly said the same words he had said the past couple of months since their first appearance, Sasuke's sharingan caught a slight change out of the corner of his eye. He zoned in on the mark on his right arm darkening before looking up to Naurto who was rambling on about going out later so they could find his soul mate. The blonde reached up to pull the neck of his black T-shirt down to show Sasuke the new addition to his body but before he could see any of it, Sasuke knew what it said; the words were already leaving his mouth.

"Oh fuck." He said moments before the words were exposed, sitting on Naruto's golden collar bone.

 _Oh fuck._

They had already started to darken before Sasuke finished the rest of what he was going to say, "It's you."

 _It's you._

Naruto blushed as Sasuke said the words, "Well, I mean they don't sound all great when you say them that way… but- but they are better than yours-dattebyo!"

The blonde continued rambling, oblivious to the situation and only came to a stop when he noticed Sasuke staring in shock at mark, "Sasuke?"

Naruto's eyes travelled down to see the now black writing on Sasuke's arm.

"That wasn't like that before, was it?"

"Hn."

"And-and it was the first thing I said to you…"

"Hn."

"And then you read mine-" Naruto broke off, fully realising what had just occurred.

"My mark just turned black, didn't it?"

"Hn."

"Fuck." the blonde whispered.

"Fuck." Sasuke agreed.

* * *

 **And Fin.**

 **Gosh, I love Naruto and Sasuke (even though I probably haven't done them any justice here). ^^**

 **I love the idea of Sasuke fearing for the rest of his life every time he hears the words 'Sasuke-kun…'**

 **I think the aftermath of this situation would also be quite fun! :P I may write it one day… :3**

 **Anyway, please comment your thoughts!**

 **Thanks for reading! :D**


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